A Tepid Start to 2012

The good

•  I am reading books.  I loved reading books, back when I was a kid (I still am a kid, but others have started treating me like some grown up adult ), I always had a book in my hand. It didn’t matter where I was or what I was doing, and even what I was reading. If it had a cover and printed pages and I was nearby, I read it.  However somehow down the line I lost that habit. I forgot the pain you felt when a beloved character died or the sense of loss when you finished a particularly good series of book or when you read the entire works of an author. So after a period of 6 years, in the winter of 2011, when I didn’t have any distractions I started reading books again. And by reading I don’t mean reading 100 pages, and then leaving the book for the other day, I mean picking up a book and reading it nonstop till your mother starts shouting at you and confiscates the book. Yeah those kinds of reading, when you read like a fiend without a care in the world. So, in these 15 days I have read 7 books, and the 8^th one is in progress, and boy I am loving it.

•   I am not watching any mindless TV series

•  I got 99.08 percentile in CAT without studying, without preparing. This was a much needed boost for me because the results came when I had started doubting my abilities. It was a bit of a restoration of my faith in myself.

The bad

•  I got 99.08 percentile in CAT without studying. It’s like running the marathon and then collapsing on the finish line just because you didn’t drink enough water so you dehydrated. There will be a small part of me that will always nag me, that small voice which will always claim if only I had studied a bit more. If only I had remembered the formula for sum of a GP. If ONLY.

•  I broke my laptop, and had to pay a lot of money to get it repaired.

•  I messed up my application forms. I won’t give out details; however the gist is that I am a big moron, and it would hurt that even after getting a good (read as awesome) score in GRE and TOEFL I would not get an offer from a graduate school just because of my idiocy

The Ugly

•  I realized that there are some people who will use you for nefarious purposes. Like for example there exists a certain someone let’s call him Mr. X  who will bitch about someone else  and should you say anything against that someone else, Mr. X will promptly go around and relate the things that you said to him with utmost relish. This was something which I always understood and tried to stay away from such persons. However there is something good that can be found in these kind of people too, they never kick you when you are vulnerable. Hence it was news for me when I found people of other kind, whose sole purpose is to derive everything from you, no matter how it may have harmed you. I can’t comprehend how a person to whom you presented your vulnerable side use you to make your best friend jealous by presenting as if something is going between you and her (she was his girlfriend long time ago, a relationship which she broke). I never thought that I shall be the dupe of such kind of people, and it is ugly because it will be very difficult for a misanthrope like me to be vulnerable again.

This start of 2012 had more lows than it had ups, and it kind of scares me because I rose very high in 2011 and it’s a long fall when I look down.

Adios…

Edit:  there has been a change in the situation, it appears what I feared has been delayed. :D